Knight Rider Sketch

knight_rider

Courtroom.

Michael Knight is being tried.  He’s defending himself.

Judge
So, as I understand it, Mr. Knight, you are being charged with impersonating a police officer by driving a car that has a strobing light that the state has charged mimics the rollers of a police car.

Michael
That’s absurd your honor.

Judge
Hey now, you’ll speak when asked in this court.

Michael
Oh come on.

Judge
If you are not fit to represent yourself, the court will appoint an attorney.

Michael
I don’t need an attorney.   This is ridiculous.

Judge
Have you ever practiced law before, Mr. Knight.

Michael
I work for the Foundation for Law and Government.

Judge
Is that a band?

Courtroom spectators laugh.

Judge
Order.  Order.

Michael
(into wristwatch communicator)
KITT, get me out of here.

KITT (OS)
Almost there, Michael.

The doors to the courtroom swing open (they are not broken down) as KITT enters and slowly rolls down the aisle.

KITT
I’ll be representing Mr. Knight, your honor.

Judge
What’s this?

Michael
Oh, please.  KITT, this isn’t the time.

KITT continues to roll slowly down the aisle.

Michael
How’d you make it up the stairs?

KITT
Don’t even ask.

Judge
Get that car out of my courtroom.

KITT
I’m a fully accredited attorney in the state of California.

Michael
What?  Come on, there’s not even a space for you here.

As KITT tries to do a three point turn to park next to the defense table…

KITT
I’ll be filing a lawsuit against the state regarding the accessibility of this courtroom on Monday morning, your honor.

Michael
He’s not my attorney, your honor.  Get ready to turbo-boost, KITT.

A random laser shoots out of KITT stinging Michael.

Michael
Ow! Dammit KITT!

KITT
Shush, Michael.  Your honor.  My client has no social security number, no birth certificate, no driver’s license.  He doesn’t exist. And therefore can not be held by this court.

Judge
Did you just say no driver’s license?  Operating a vehicle without a license is against the law, sir.

KITT
As an attorney, I’m well aware of the law.  But as you can see, I operate myself.

Judge
Then you should be charged with impersonating a police officer.

Prosecutor
If I could get a word in edgewise your honor…

KITT
Impersonating a police car is not a crime in California.  Furthermore, I bare no police markings, my front sensor is in no way the same shape, no does it oscillate at the same frequency as a police roller.

Judge
Case dismissed.

Michael
Couldn’t you have just busted me out of here?

KITT
Yes, but sometimes its best to let the system handle itself.

Prosecutor
Anytime you want me to chime in, your honor, be my guest.

image from http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/09/the_next_stage_in_david_hassel.html