Movie Review: The Avengers

While The Avengers had a heroic cast and some funny scenes, overall I didn’t like it as much as the rest of the planet. Here are some things that bugged me:

  • The Avengers? More like The Avon Ladies… Why are the dudes wearing so much make-up? Well, I know steroids and human growth hormone can cause pimples so maybe that’s why Captain America looked like he had more paint on his face┬áthan the side of a ship. And everybody’s going for 3-D effects these days so maybe Tony Stark’s eye liner were just supposed to make his peepers pop. But Captain America and Iron-Man, more like Captain Mascara and Eye-Liner Man.
  • Why did Loki just hang out when Iron-Man and Thor were fighting over him? He made it all the way from Space but he can’t make it to the highway from the middle of the Pine Barrons? He had the perfect chance to escape!
  • The whole movie is about Loki and aliens trying to take over the planet. But who does Nick Fury answer to? A small cabal of people who have taken over the planet. People often tell me that at least they aren’t aliens. Do we know that? Avengers, free us from the tyranny of the council!
  • During the big fight at the end where Manhattan is being laid to waste, Iron-Man flies over downtown and what do we see? Light and moderate traffic on the Verrazano and the Staten Island Ferry operating on a normal schedule.

What I liked about the movie:

  • At the end Iron-Man and Hulk take off in the same car. Hopefully they’re going to finally catch the Zodiac Killer. Anybody else see that movie?
  • The last scene after all the credits. The whole movie I wanted to grab the camera and just keep it locked in one position. Nice still frames are missing in most action movies and camera moves are overused to add to the action. That scene after the credits was perfect.

Hulk Vent!