Eddie McOwskey Press Conference
By Jeremiah Murphy
EDDIE
Good Mornings Folks, I’m Eddie McOwskey, candidate for New Jersey State Governors. Please listen to me, while I try to persuade youse with manipulative speech and tentative promises.
Folks, why should you vote for me? Simple. I’m the best. I’m not one to sling mud around pig pens, so I’ll refrain from the usual petty attacks. However, my opponents, Jonny Corzines and Chris Christies are both fat, ugly, and quite frankly smell like a hippopotamus’s dirty butts. Like a hippopatumus’s dirty butts. It’s either that or me. I think the choice is simples.
(in a deep, raspy voice)
Vote McOwskey or Vote for Stinky-Sweet Pachyderm Butt.
I have to do my own scary poltical ad narration voice.
Now. I’ll accept questions. Yes, you from the New York Times.
HENRY
Actually, I’m not from the New York Times. I write a blog that some kids in my high school read.
EDDIE
We all have to start somewheres. May your dreams come true, dear boys. What is your question? Perhaps you’d like to know about my administration’s candy and comic book bailout plan? Or my CD pick of the week?
HENRY
You plainly said that you would not engage in mudslinging but in the following sentence you called you opponents ugly, fat, and smelly. Why did you contradict yourself in such an obvious light.
EDDIE
Thank you for that great question, young man. Actually, you may be too young to understand but the voting public likes to hear everything. They like to hear you promise to not say mean things, then they like to hear you say mean things. It shows that one has the formissitude to betray oneself for the good of the public’s moralities and entertainments.
HENRY
Isn’t that lying, Mr. McOwskey?
EDDIE
Henry, when you’re an adult you don’t get accused of lying, you get accused of misspeaking and spreading misinformation. And even then the accusations don’t occur until a day or two laters and never, ever in front of anyones faces. Next question, yes you from the Wall Street Journal.
DENISE
Actually, I just keep a diary.
EDDIE
At least it has one dedicated reader, which is more than the Wall Street Journal can attest. That rags.
DENISE
I didn’t have a question. I was just stretching.
NARRATOR
In the future, the internet will be shut down for various reasons. The world will be tossed into chaos. But Facebook will survive. In the absence of the web, Facebook users will be forced to report directly to the Facebook offices to read their friends status updates, look at pictures, make changes to their profile. This is the future!
At the Facebook Offices.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Hi there, welcome to Facebook, how may I help you?
GREG
I’d like to log on to Facebook.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
What’s your Facebook username and password?
GREG
I thought you said you would remember me. I was just here.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
You look familiar but I have no idea who you are. I am sorry.
GREG
Aye-yi-yi, I’m working. I don’t want my boss to catch me here. Username: Greg Johnson at skimail dot com, password is slutomatic2
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Skimail?
GREG
Yeah.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Do you ski?
GREG
No, come on am I in?
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Odd password, Mr. Johnson. You are in! What can I do for you?
GREG
I want to look at pictures of my friends.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
OK, I’ll be right back.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT gets up and looks through a big box of pictures. He picks some out and throws them on the table.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Here they are. I looked at some of these this morning. I find the drunk pictures tasteless. Look at you in this one. I showed it to your mother the other day.
GREG
Aw, come on. I’d like to look at these in private.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
I’m sorry.
GREG looks at the pictures fast and hard.
GREG
OK, these are good. I’ve seen them all. Can I change my status update?
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Sure, what would you like it say.
GREG
Uh, Greg Johnson has a hole in his left sock.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Do people need to know this?
GREG
I thought I’d share.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
You have a friend request.
GREG
Who?
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
That woman over there, Gail Soderberg. You went to high school with her.
GREG
Ooh. No thanks. Mark that one “ignore.”
GAIL
Excuse me, Greg, I’m really offended.
GREG
We can still be friends outside of the Facebook offices but when I’m in here, I like to keep everything limited to my close friends. I haven’t seen you in 15 years, you know.
GAIL
I thought you’d be happy to see me.
GREG
Outside of Facebook, but not inside.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
Greg, your friend Carl is trying to chat with you, will you accept?
GREG
Nah. I don’t have the patience for his rambling.
CARL
What!?? Come on dude! I’m right here!
GREG’S BOSS
Greg! What are you doing here!
GREG
Oh, shit, I was uh, working on this excel spreadsheet.
GREG’S BOSS
In the Facebook office?
CARL
Busted. Hey Facebook dude, update my status. “Greg just got busts LOL!”
GAIL
Yes update my status to say the same thing.
FACEBOOK ATTENDANT
One at a time please, I can only do so much. I’m not the internet, you know.
Moses returns from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments. His fellow travelers are running around the valley committing golden calf worship and mischief.
MOSES
OK, OK. Knock it off you guys. I’ve got something important to say.
Everyone pays attention.
GARY
What’s so important?
MOSES
I got a whole new bunch of rules that we have to live by.
SHEILA:
Seriously? After all we’ve been through? We’ve survived this long. I think we’re getting along fine.
GARY
Seriously, dude. Can’t we just enjoy the day? Why do we always have to be doing something?
MOSES
(puts one hand on his hip and glares)
Ahem.
GARY
Aw, man.
MOSES
Shoosh. OK, now, where are my reading glasses? Ah, dammit. I’ll just have to hold these stone tablets far enough away. Rule number 1, OK, gang, God says that “You shall have no other gods before me.”
SHEILA
Why doesn’t he tell us this himself?
GARY
Seriously, he wants our ultimate devotion so he writes us on a stone tablet that some old man with no reading glasses is supposed to read to us?
SHEILA
Is there anything really written on that thing, pops?
MOSES
Bup-Bup. Moses is talking. Rule number 2, basically it says that you can’t worship any false idols or whatever that is over there. You have to get rid of that thing.
(Moses points to the crude representation of a golden calf).
GARY
What!?? I worked all day on this.
MOSES
Please. It looks like a couple pieces of plywood and some nails—I can’t even tell what it is.
GARY
I can’t even tell what your God is! So far, all I got is a couple narcissistic rules.
MOSES
At least with my guy, you’re getting some good laws to start a society! What are you getting out of that thing, beyond splinters and bed bugs? It looks like you found it on the street. Folks, these stone tablets are the goods! Grade A!
SHEILA
OK, Moses. What other rules are you selling?
GARY
Yeah, those first two sound awfully similar.
MOSES
As does this third one, hmmm. OK, let me skip down to something which might grab your attention. (Mumbles other commandments to himself until he reaches…) “Thou shalt not kill!” Huz-ZAH! Pretty powerful, huh?
SHEILA
What about in self defense?
MOSES
Well, I’m sure in certain situations…
GARY
What about if people are on land that you want to live on and they won’t leave?
MOSES
If you’re referring to the Canaanites…
SHEILA
What about metaphorically, like killing friendships?
MOSES
Oh, that’s fine.
GARY
What about animals?
MOSES
Don’t worry about it.
SHEILA
What about during times of war?
GARY
Yeah.
MOSES
Well, it’s actually your country doing the killing, so maybe some would interpret the killing as not done by the solider but by the nation.
GARY
Then the entire nation should be condemned for entering war.
SHEILA
What do you do to a nation that disobeys the rules?
MOSES
Nothing, it doesn’t count. But um, check this one out gang, “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy!” That’s a guaranteed day off. How many holidays from that fat cow over there?
SHEILA
Is the Sabbath really a day off?
GARY
Yeah, you’ve made us get up pretty early in the morning for these “holidays,” pops.
SHEILA
I don’t find the Sabbath very relaxing with all those obligations and rituals.
GARY
And that bad music!
SHEILA
I’d rather just be guaranteed a day of personal freedom.
GARY
Two days. Maybe take a short trip.
SHEILA
I could really use an escape.
MOSES
Guys, a little patience. Where were we?
GARY
“Thou shalt not push your beliefs on your neighbor, especially if he or she has their own thing going on that isn’t hurting anyone, and as a corollary thou shall treat women and men equally.”
SHIT WHITMAN
Folks, if you can believe it, there was a meeting at the U.N. today and you should have really seen some of the colorful characters there. I mean some of those foreign dignitaries look very, very funny, with their clothes, with their goofy accents, and of course, with their exotic odors. With us now is our foreign affairs correspondent, Gary Guerry. And Gary, you’ll have to forgive me but I can’t pronounce your last name any other way than your first name. Tell us about this freak show.
GARY
Shit, it really is freak show at the U.N. today, all sorts of foreign dignitaries getting up and speaking. It’s like the out takes of some Ashton Kutcher produced reality show which might be called “The Rest of the World is Hilarious!” or “Men in Dresses.” What a freak show, Shit. It’s something. Check out this looney-tune walking by me right now. What country is he from StarTrekConventionistan?!
SHIT
Indeed. What’s the smell like down there, Gary?
GARY
Shit, I don’t want to offend anybody, but foreign people have peculiar smells. I can’t tell if I’m at a restaurant in Brooklyn, a bathroom in the basement, or some place that just smells like coconuts and curry. And I like curry, Shit.
SHIT
I had no idea.
GARY
We should get dinner sometime.
SHIT
Thanks, Gary.
GARY
Thank you, Shit, and let me know about dinner. It’s on me. Maybe a little wine. Some candles—
SHIT
Sounds civilized, something those clowns down at the U.N. could use a healthy dose of ,civilization. Thanks Gary, and don’t surprised if I don’t take up your offer. In this age of acquaintances, I abhor time spent alone with people who show any interest in me. Next up, why it’s important to silence the protestors at the G-20, in a segment called “If You Disagree, Please Be Quiet, Damn You.”
An interview with a former employee of the top secret Air Force Base, Area 51, long been rumored to be the government testing ground of retrieved flying saucers. In this interview we attempt expose what’s really going on there.
Written, Performed, Garagebanded, and iMovied by Jeremiah Murphy
In this set at SuperEgo hosted by Michelle Dobrawsky and Dale Sorenson last night, I continue my comedic crusade against campaign flyers which continue to cram my mailbox. I guess what ticks me off about these things is the overkill, the unimpressive boasting, endorsements by relatively unknown entities, and lack of information about the office for the which the candidates are running as well as negligible amount of specific plans to better the city. And let’s face it, all a politician has to do to get votes in New York is promise lower rents and cheaper commuting–yet no one seems capable of promising such things so instead we are bombarded with flyers. And on top of that, everyone seems to be for better schools, yet around 90% of all flyers contain gross grammatical errors and/or poor sentence structure. Perhaps, the bogus reading and writing tests we subject our students too should also be applied to our local elected officials.
And despite the mad dash to the post office the Democratic primary voter turnout was the lowest yet.
ONE:
Gentlemen… and ladies, we just landed the flying car account. This is huge. Now all we have to is sell this thing to the turds out there.
TWO:
It actually flies?
ONE:
It looks like a regular car but you push a button and it has these jets, little wings pop out… Boom, you’re off.
THREE:
Does it have a bubble on top like a Jetson’s car?
ONE:
No.
THREE:
We’re screwed.
FOUR:
I think we can sell a flying car, guys. It doesn’t have to look like a Jetson’s car.
THREE:
Does it fold into a suitcase?
ONE:
No.
THREE:
It doesn’t fold into a suitcase. Unbelievable. Who’s going to buy this piece of junk?
TWO:
I got it. We can say that you can fly over toll booths so you don’t have to pay to use
bridges.
ONE:
Saving money in these times, I like it.
THREE:
You fly over the toll booth, then you ride the bridge for free… The Flying Car! I like it.
FOUR:
Why not just fly over the bridge too?
ONE:
Are you sandbagging us, Johnson?
THREE:
That’s right, it’s a flying car. Hmmm. Maybe we can show some sexy woman driving this car on a winding desert road and we can convince people that when you buy the car you get to have sex with this woman. Thoughts, gang?
FOUR:
Maybe we can show the car flying. Maybe people will buy a car that flies.
TWO:
A car that flies and that you can use as a real car.
THREE:
Yeah, we have to remind people that this is a car and not some flying saucer laser beam nonsense. We have to remind people that you need one of these or you’re not really one of us, you know, someone who drives to work and bars and stuff.
ONE:
Yes, people must know that they can drive to bars in this thing. That’s three quarters of our audience. This is paramount.
FOUR:
What’s wrong with just showing a picture of this thing flying? I think people will be pretty blown away.
THREE:
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We need to make this as ambiguous as possible–then people will talk about it.
ONE:
Buzz is good, gentlemen… and ladies. My hair looks terrible today, fyi.
FOUR:
I think people will be talking about this because it’s a car that flies.
THREE:
Let’s not be too sure.
ONE:
Yes we need a slogan, a model, some way of telling people to buy this thing. We have to put some emotion into this, we have to sell a feeling: lust, escape, happiness…
FOUR:
Guys, it’s a flying car. There’s no competition. I don’t even think this needs ads. It’s already in the history books. Kids will be learning about it in school. Kids will be learning about it in school, guys! I think it’s very existence is its own advertising. Let’s not embarrass ourselves.
ONE:
Let’s though.
THREE:
Yes, let’s embarrass ourselves.
ONE:
Thoughts about embrassing outselves, gang? Good. Now, how do we downplay this being a foreign car during a time of war?
A dinner table. A couple and their newly arrived house guests sit down for a nice meal.
Husband:
We’re so glad y’all could make it.
Wife:
How long was the drive?
Guest Wife:
Maybe ten hours.
Guest Husband:
Probably around 16 hours… the way I drive! Whoah, Mama!
Everyone politely laughs.
Guest Wife:
This meal looks delicious.
Guest Husband:
I feel I don’t deserve it… especially after the way I drive! Whoah, Mama!
Nobody laughs.
Guest Husband:
Maybe next time.
Wife:
Do you drive slow?
Guest Husband:
You mean, “do I drive slowly?” Adverb. Whoah, Mama!
Guest Wife:
Bert.
Husband:
I guess we all talk a little funny around these parts.
Everyone laughs.
Guest Husband:
I do drive slow…ly. Cautiously. I’m a city man. Whoah, Mama!
Guest Wife:
It was a nice trip.
Guest Husband:
Whoah, Mama!
Guest Wife:
No, Bert.
Wife:
Dave and I cooked this lasagna together. No small feat.
Guest Husband looks under the table.
Guest Husband:
Nope!
Guest Wife:
It’s very good.
Guest Husband:
We’ve just been eating gas station food—
Guest Wife:
Slushies and—
Guest Husband:
Whoah, Mama! I wasn’t finished, Babe. Gotta squeeze it in.
Guest Wife:
Hotdogs.
Husband:
You ever hear a French person say “hotdog?” It’s very difficult.
Guest Wife:
Like when someone from Louisiana says “mayonnaise?”
Wife:
I guess they’re both French.
Guest Husband:
Ehhhh. Not quite.
Silence.
Guest Husband:
So, I hear after dinner we’re all going to have sex with one another. I’m looking forward to that, everybody.
Husband:
What?
Wife:
We don’t do that.
Husband:
What’s wrong with you, Bert?
Guest Husband:
I guess I heard wrong.
Guest Wife:
Don’t look at me.
Guest Husband:
Well, aren’t I the fool. Here I am, driving all slowly, adverb, nervous about my first foray into joint-marital group sex and I had nothing to worry about. Whoah, Mama!
Guest Wife:
Bert.
Husband:
Why’d you think we were going to have group sex?
Guest Husband:
I thought I read it in the email with directions.
Guest Wife:
We used Mapquest.
Guest Husband:
And I thought I read something about group sex. Then we were having this nice cooked meal to set the mood. I just assumed that finally someone should mention it so we could set some ground rules, discuss our expectations, fears, any specific plans… Personally, I enjoy a sexual experience the most when I don’t have any questions floating around my head. That’s why I enjoy marriage so much, Dave. But, I see now that I was wrong. And now, I can focus all my energies on enjoying this nice lasagna. DEE-licious. Whoah, Mama!
Everyone stares at Guest Husband.
Guest Husband:
Where are my manners? (lifts up glass) A toast, may the next two weeks be a great visit.
NARRATOR:
Arrested, convicted and sentenced to death, Jesus of Nazareth experienced the monstrous cruelty of humanity first hand.
Black and white shots of Jesus being convicted by Pontius Pilate and crucified on the cross. Throngs of people denounce Jesus.
THE MASSES:
Crucify him! Crucify him!
NARRATOR:
After his death, he arose to Heaven, promising to one day return, perhaps to a time when he’d be welcome in the land of mortals.
Black and white shot of Jesus ascending into Heaven. Underneath him, the masses jeer and boo him. We see a “I can’t wait to get out of here” look on Jesus’s face.
Cut to black.
NARRATOR:
Two thousand years passed. Jesus felt out of touch and wanted to visit the Earth, curious to see what effects his teachings and followers had on the world. Hoping that his past crimes might be forgotten… he finally returned.
Night shot of Jesus landing on a grassy field, Superman style. He walks for a little while, enjoying the earthly delights. Then he comes across a Cross.
We see flashbacks of Jesus on the cross. Cruelty! Horror! Pain!
Jesus runs away, perhaps to the tune of Planet of the Apes style bongo music. He finds refuge in a Church. He runs in.
Crosses everywhere Jesus turns! In the center of the Church is a beautiful hand sculpted Crucifix, portraying Jesus nailed to the cross in frightening detail!
Jesus SHRIEKS!
JESUS:
I gotta get out of here!
Everyone in the Church recognizes Jesus and points at him.
JESUS:
They’re still after me!
Jesus backs away to the door. The people of the Church start to follow him. He notices that everyone in some fashion is wearing a cross.
JESUS:
Come on, all I did was flip over some tables in a temple, teach people to love… Let’s put the crosses away, OK? What do you want from me, more fish?
Jesus busts out the door, running across the field as the congregation of worshipers follows, like a Romero Zombie film.
Cut to title: SECOND COMING.
NARRATOR:
He never thought Judgement Day would be about him.
It’s An Improv Show, Charlie Brown!
by Jeremiah Murphy
It’s 9:30pm on a Tuesday night and the Peanuts gang is backstage at the best improv theater they can afford.
CHARLIE BROWN:
O.K. Everyone, gather around for some quick warm-ups.
MARCY:
Peppermint Patty said she’d be twenty minutes late, she had to meet a friend for dinner, sir.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, good grief! This is a show and deserves the same respect you would give to a play or any well planned Youtube video.
LUCY:
I don’t know what we’re doing tonight, Charlie Brown!
LINUS:
Me neither.
Snoopy growls.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Don’t you remember what we went over in rehearsal?
LUCY:
How can you rehearse for improv, Charlie Brown?
LINUS:
We don’t do anything at rehearsal except complain about our day, talk about movies, and push our politics on each other, Charlie Brown.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Good grief! We specifically went over the format for tonight’s show. For our opening let’s each start with a monologue. Then we do two person scenes. Then a monoscene.
LUCY:
I hate that opening, Charlie Brown. I hate opening with monologues! I say we just come out and do a pattern game. They give me ideas for scenes. Ideas for scenes come hard to me, Charlie Brown. I need to do a pattern game!
CHARLIE BROWN:
But we discussed the opening as a group through e-mail and everyone liked it.
LINUS:
Pattern games make the audience feel that they’re watching rehearsals.
LUCY:
Oh, Brother! HOW CAN YOU REHEARSE IMPROV?
SCHROEDER:
Charlie Brown, I know we rehearsed with my musical accompaniment but I’d really like to be in a couple of the scenes tonight.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Schroeder, you are in all the scenes. Your music is a character in every scene!
SCHROEDER:
I feel used, Charlie Browm. Can I please be in a scene? I have some new characters.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Fine, Schroeder. It’s not what we rehearsed, but fine. Lucy and Marcy, did you flyer before the show?
LUCY:
What!?? Begging for an audience is beneath me, Charlie Brown.
MARCY:
You never gave me any flyers, sir.
LUCY:
We need to culture a following Charlie Brown!
CHARLIE BROWN:
ARRRGHHH!!!!!! Who’s going to come see the show tonight!???
MARCY:
I saw two people in the lobby.
LUCY:
They probably work here and are forced to watch the show. That’s the only reason, I can think of anyone seeing our show.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, good grief Lucy, did you ask anyone to come see the show?
LUCY:
No, I’m doing a one-woman show and I’d rather my fans come see that. I don’t have faith in this show. Not yet.
LINUS:
I sent a couple emails Charlie Brown, but got no response.
CHARLIE BROWN:
You have to call people, Linus. You have to call people, let them know you’re thinking about them. People support friends, not people who hide behind emails! Good grief!
LUCY:
If I called people asking them to come see this show, I’d feel like I was begging for money, Charlie Brown.
CHARLIE BROWN:
That’s no attitude to have, Lucy. Let’s all form a circle.
LINUS:
Yes, Lucy, save that negativity for your transaction scenes.
LUCY:
I LIKE TRANSACTION SCENES!
PIG PEN:
What are we doing for an opening, Charlie Brown? And when do we do the monoscene? I feel like Lucy always starts the monoscene too early.
LUCY:
I’m the pace of the show. I start the monoscene when the monoscene needs to be started.
CHARLIE BROWN:
We do the mono-scene after we name the protagonist in the final two person scene.
PIG PEN:
How do we name the protagonist?
CHARLIE BROWN:
I thought we established this in rehearsal!
LUCY:
I’m always the protagonist, with you people AND YOUR MONOLOGUE OPENINGS!!! ARE WE DOING A PATTERN GAME, CHARLIE BROWN OR DO I HAVE TO WORK YOU OVER, YOU BLOCKHEAD?!!
Peppermint Patty enters.
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
Hey, Chuck. Sorry I’m late. I had to meet up with some friends.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Are they coming to the show?
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
Nah. They had tickets to a movie.
Stage Manger enters.
STAGE MANAGER, THE KID WITH THE SAILOR HAT:
5 Minutes, everyone.
Exits.
LUCY:
Five minutes to doom!
LINUS:
Charlie Brown, tell Sally to black us out at 30 minutes. Our show went too long last week. The audience wanted to leave.
LUCY:
Yeah, both of them!
SCHROEDER:
Charlie Brown, can I do a standup set before the show?
LUCY:
Stick to the Piano, Schroeder. The man I marry plays the piano and your standup is reminiscent of a young Paul Reiser.
SCHROEDER:
Is that a compliment?
LUCY:
To Paul Reiser maybe it is.
CHARLIE BROWN:
I just got five text messages from people saying they can’t make the show. Why do they always send messages like that right before I go on stage? I feel so horrible about myself when right before I’m about to perform people tell me they can’t be bothered.
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
What are we doing for an opening, Chuck? I hate putting a together a show five minutes before we go on.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Then why didn’t you get here earlier?
LINUS:
Are we going to ask for a suggestion, Charlie Brown? Because we never use them and I feel that just insults the audience.
LUCY:
What audience?
CHARLIE BROWN:
Come on team, we pay for the space.
LUCY:
I don’t pay to perform, Charlie Brown. I don’t play to perform. You pay me to perform! Got it?
CHARLIE BROWN:
We ask for three suggestions.
LUCY:
OH, BROTHER! WE DON’T EVEN HAVE THREE AUDIENCE MEMBERS!
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
Guys, I’m nervous about the show. Are we doing a pattern game?
CHARLIE BROWN:
Good Grief!
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
Chuck, let’s go over what kind of edits we use. So we’re all on the same page. I tapped out Marcy last week and she thought I was joining the scene instead of replacing her.
MARCY:
Sorry sir.
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
No apologies necessary Marce, we’ve never discussed the subject despite all the hours wasted at Champion Studios.
CHARLIE BROWN:
That’s a good idea, Peppermint Patty. To edit a scene we can use tap-outs, organic edits, and sweep-edits.
LUCY:
I hate sweep edits! I feel like a hack!
LINUS:
You are a—
LUCY:
(making a fist)
JUST SAY IT, BLOCKHEAD! JUST SAY IT!
CHARLIE BROWN:
We can also color scenes with edits from the backline such as “Cut to—“
LUCY:
I HATE “THE MOVIE!” AND I HATE STANDING ON THE BACKLINE! WHY CAN’T WE STAND IN THE WINGS, CHARLIE BROWN?!!
CHARLIE BROWN:
…”That sounds like a song,” you can also yell “freeze!” then reposition the people in the scene so when they unfreeze –
PEPPERMINT PATTY:
That’s enough Chuck. Thanks. You got all that, Marce?
